Burn After Reading Movie Memorable Quotes

Burn After Reading Movie Memorable Quotes

Harry Pfarrer: Go around the corner, we’ll do it in the back.
Katie Cox: You’re so coarse.
Harry Pfarrer: Back of the car… not the rear entry situation…

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CIA Officer: We’ll … interface with the FBI on this dead body.
CIA Superior: No, no. God no. Burn the body. Get rid of it.
CIA Officer: OK.

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[repeated line]
Harry Pfarrer: Well, hello!

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[repeated line]
Chad Feldheimer: [excited] Oh, my God!

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Harry Pfarrer: Ya wanna come downstairs? Ya like surprises?
Linda Litzke: [cheerful] Well, I’m always open to new experiences.
Harry Pfarrer: [walking downstairs] Yeah, I tell ya. I saw an ad for this in a gentlemen’s magazine. Twelve hundred bucks. I’m lookin’ at this thing and I think, ‘You gotta be kiddin’ me.’ I’m a hobbyist. Thing’s basically nothing but speed rails. I figure I’d go down to Home Depot and whip this up myself for… a hundred bucks.
Linda Litzke: What is it?
Harry Pfarrer: What is it?
[pats the seat of the mechanism]
Harry Pfarrer: You sit down there, make yourself comfortable, put your feet in the stirrups, and…
[cycles the mechanism]
Linda Litzke: Oh my god.
[awed whisper]
Linda Litzke: That’s fantastic.
Harry Pfarrer: It’s something isn’t it? Hundred bucks, all in - not counting my labor, and the… cost of the dildo. Those things aren’t cheap. See, I’d like to…
[pause]
Harry Pfarrer: …I’m not set up to mold hard rubbers.

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[repeated line]
Osborne Cox: What the fuck…?

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Harry Pfarrer: [after shooting Chad] What the fuck? I just killed a fucking spook!

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Osborne Cox: Give me the CD!
Chad Feldheimer: As soon as you give us the money, dickwad!

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Chad Feldheimer: You think it’s a Schwinn!

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Chad Feldheimer: Appearances can be… deceptive.

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Linda Litzke: I’m really looking for a guy with a sense of humor.
Chad Feldheimer: That guy, wait, that guy wasn’t bad.
Linda Litzke: Him?
Chad Feldheimer: No before.
Linda Litzke: Him?
Chad Feldheimer: Umm, he might not be a loser…
Linda Litzke: How can you tell?
Chad Feldheimer: That’s a Brioni suit.
Linda Litzke: Yeah?
Chad Feldheimer: Shit yeah!
Linda Litzke: Does he look like he would have a sense of humor?
Chad Feldheimer: Looks like his orthodontist has a sense of humor.

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Osborne Cox: Sorry, I don’t happen to know my account number because unfortunately I don’t sit around all day trying to memorize the fucking numbers! Moron!

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[repeated line]
Chad Feldheimer: [raspy voice] Osborne Cox?

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CIA Superior: What did we learn?
CIA Officer: Uh…
CIA Superior: Not to do it again.
[pause]
CIA Superior: I don’t know what the fuck it is we *did*, but…

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Katie Cox: [while Harry is cutting carrots] Think that’s enough carrots?
Harry Pfarrer: [angrily] …What?!

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Chad Feldheimer: [on the phone] Osbourne Cox? I thought you might be worried…about the security…of your shit.

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CIA Superior: So what did we learn from this?
CIA Officer: Um… I don’t know.
[pause]
CIA Superior: I don’t fuckin’ know either.

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CIA Superior: Report back to me when it makes sense.

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Osborne Cox: [on phone] Tell Dr. Cox I have the new keys!
[Osbourne hangs up, and picks up a hatchet]

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Harry Pfarrer: Who the fuck do you work for, you fucker?

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Chad Feldheimer: Osborne Cox?
Osborne Cox: Yes, this is Osborne Cox, who the *fuck* are *you*?

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[after having found a CD they believe contains files of the CIA]
Linda Litzke: You should put up a note in the ladies locker room.
Chad Feldheimer: Put up a note? “Highly classified shit found: Raw intelligence shit, CIA shit?” Hello, anybody lose their secret CIA shit? I don’t think so!

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