The Dark Knight - Memorable Quotes

Gambol: [to The Joker] Give me one reason why I shouldn’t have my boy here pull your head off.
The Joker: How about a magic trick?
[pulls out a pencil and sticks it upright into the table]
The Joker: I’m gonna make this pencil disappear.
[Gambol's thug walks over to kill The Joker, who slams his face into the pencil and kills him]
The Joker: Ta-daa! It’s… it’s gone.

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Batman: [about the Joker] He wanted to prove that even someone as good as you could fall.
Two-Face: [bitter] And he was right.

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Bruce Wayne: I need a new suit.
Lucius Fox: Yeah, three buttons is a little ’90’s, Mr. Wayne.
Bruce Wayne: I’m not talking fashion, Mr. Fox, so much as function.
[hands him a diagram]
Lucius Fox: You want to be able to turn your head.
Bruce Wayne: Sure would make backing out of the driveway easier.

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Grumpy: I’m bettin’ The Joker told you to kill me soon as we loaded the cash.
The Joker: No no no no, I kill the bus driver.
Grumpy: Bus driver? What bus driver?
[a school bus drives through the wall and kills Grumpy]

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Lt. James Gordon: Harvey Dent never made it home.
The Joker: Of course not.
Lt. James Gordon: What have you done with him?
The Joker: Me? I was right here.
[holds up his arms in handcuffs]
The Joker: Who did you leave him with? Your people? Assuming, of course, they are still *your* people, and not Maroni’s. Does it depress you, commissioner? To know just how alone you really are? Does it make you feel responsible for Harvey Dent’s current predicament?
Lt. James Gordon: Where is he?
The Joker: What’s the time?
Lt. James Gordon: What difference does that make?
The Joker: Well, depending on the time, he may in one spot, or several.
Lt. James Gordon: If we’re gonna play games…
[takes off Joker's handcuffs]
Lt. James Gordon: I’m gonna need a cup of coffee.
The Joker: Ah, the good cop, bad cop routine?
Lt. James Gordon: Not exactly.

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The Joker: This town deserves a better class of criminal… and I’m gonna give it to them. Tell your men they work for me now. This is my city.
The Chechen: They won’t work for a freak…
The Joker: [mocking his accent] A freak…
[pulls out his switchblade and tosses it to some goons who grabs the Chechen]
The Joker: Why don’t we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches? Hmm? And then we’ll see how loyal a hungry dog really is. It’s not about money… it’s about sending a message. Everything burns!

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Harvey Dent: Well, I guess no answer is a no.
Rachel Dawes: Harvey…
Harvey Dent: It’s someone else, isn’t it?
Rachel Dawes: Harvey…
Harvey Dent: Just tell me it’s not Wayne, the guy’s a complete…
[Bruce comes up behind him and grabs him in a chokehold]
Rachel Dawes: What are you doing?

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Batman: Where is Dent?
The Joker: You have all these rules and you think they’ll save you.
Lt. James Gordon: [Batman slams the Joker against a wall] He’s in control.
Batman: I have one rule.
The Joker: Then that’s the rule you’ll have to break to know the truth.
Batman: Which is?
The Joker: The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules. And tonight you’re gonna break your one rule.
Batman: I’m considering it.
The Joker: No, there’s only minutes left, so you’re gonna have to play my little game if you want to save one of them.

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Lucius Fox: It emits a high-frequency pulse for mapping an environment and records a response time.
Bruce Wayne: Sonar. Just like a…
Lucius Fox: Like a submarine, Mr. Wayne. Like a submarine.

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Lt. James Gordon: That was a very brave thing you did.
Bruce Wayne: Trying to catch the light?
Lt. James Gordon: So you weren’t protecting the van?
Bruce Wayne: [pretending to be oblivious] Why? Who’s in it?

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Bruce Wayne: People are dying, Alfred. What would you have me do?
Alfred Pennyworth: Endure, Master Wayne. Take it. They’ll hate you for it, but that’s the point of Batman, he can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make, the right choice.
Bruce Wayne: Well today I found out what Batman can’t do. He can’t endure this. Today you get to say “I told you so.”
Alfred Pennyworth: Today, I don’t want to.
[pauses for several moments]
Alfred Pennyworth: But I did bloody tell you.

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[Batman has just fought off Scarecrow and a group of Batman wannabes]
Batman: Don’t let me find you out here again.
Brian: We’re trying to help you!
Batman: I don’t need help.
Dr. Jonathan Crane: Not my diagnosis!
Brian: What gives you the right? What’s the difference between you and me?
[Batman lowers himself into the Batmobile]
Batman: I’m not wearing hockey pads!

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Bruce Wayne: [after running into Harvey and Rachel at a restaurant] So, let’s put a couple tables together.
Harvey Dent: I’m not sure they’ll let us.
Bruce Wayne: Oh, they should. I own the place.

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Salvatore Maroni: Look, if I tell you, will you let me go?
Two-Face: Can’t hurt your chances.
Salvatore Maroni: It was Ramirez.
[Two-Face pulls the coin out and cocks his gun]
Salvatore Maroni: [panicking] But you said…
Two-Face: I said it couldn’t hurt your chances.
[flips coin; good side]
Two-Face: You’re a lucky man.
[flips again; bad side]
Two-Face: He’s not.
Salvatore Maroni: Who?
Two-Face: Your driver.
[buckles seat belt and shoots the driver in the back; the car goes flying off the road.]

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Alfred Pennyworth: [looks at the large gash on Bruce's arm] Were you mauled by a tiger?
Bruce Wayne: It was a dog…
Alfred Pennyworth: Huh?
Bruce Wayne: It was a big dog!
[pause]
Bruce Wayne: More copycats today, Alfred, with guns.
Alfred Pennyworth: Why don’t you hire them and take the weekend off?

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The Joker: I want…my phone call. I want it. I want it! I want my phone call!
Detective Stephens: That’s nice.
The Joker: How many of your friends have I killed?
Detective Stephens: I’m a twenty year man. I can tell the difference between punks who need a little lesson in manners, and the freaks like you who just enjoy it.
[pause]
Detective Stephens: And you’ve killed six of my friends.
The Joker: [faking interest, mouths "six"]

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Grumpy: [before a bank heist] Three of a kind, let’s do this.
Chuckles: That’s it, three guys?
Grumpy: And two guys on the roof. Everybody gets a share. Five shares is plenty.
Chuckles: Six shares, don’t forget the guy who planned the job.
Grumpy: He thinks he can sit out and still take a slice? I know why they call him the “Joker.”

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Harvey Dent: Alfred, right?
Alfred Pennyworth: That’s right, sir.
Harvey Dent: Rachel talks about you all the time. You’ve known her for her whole life.
Alfred Pennyworth: Not yet, sir.
Harvey Dent: Any psychotic ex-boyfriends I should be aware of?
Alfred Pennyworth: [smiles] Oh, you have no idea.

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Salvatore Maroni: You sure you wanna embarrass me in front of my friends, Lieutenant?
Lt. James Gordon: Oh, don’t worry. They’re coming too.

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